This is the night I'm not feeling great about how I reacted to situations. I didn't stop to listen to the spirit within, nor did I feel balanced. I let my stress and worries carry me rather than my strengths.
I can hang on to them or let them go and understand why I felt the way I did. First, nothing is perfect and second the reason something happens isn't really about me. It's really about how it works for the other person.
I also realized that I am willing to help another person, but that doesn't make me a team player. I want the work that is mine and am not willing to give it up. Talking with people is what I do and some of those people I have, I'm not so sure I want to talk to. And I know that no one else does either.
Those I have worked with and were hard for me to even get them to talk to me in the first place aren't ones I want to let go of. Reason being is that they'll probably end up with me as a personal visit and I have to start all over again.
See, I can make rationalities for my behavior, but still, I don't accept it without challenging the reason. Maybe I'm neurotic. I don't know.
Work was one of the situations and my kids were another. I made a couple statements that would have been better said later and in a different manner. By the time I acted, I was reacting to my stress level. It doesn't do any good.
1 comment:
Hang in there. You have an unconquerable spirit that your family depends on. They're so lucky to have you! Plus I'm willing to bet you're doing much better than you give yourself credit for.
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